Stop Talking About The Whores
by Roxius
Summary: Niko Bellic is getting sick and tired of Kiki always accusing him of having 'other whores'. Niko decides to take action. Anti-Kiki fic. Sorta cracky. Character Death. Please R & R! Rated for mentions of perverse situations.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Grand Theft Auto series.

A/N: I'm dating Kiki in the game...and I've realized how FREAKIN' ANNOYING SHE IS. She's so stupid as to believe that a guy who killed a mother and her two kids was doing it out of self-defense, and she probably wants to be one of Niko's whores in actuality. XD

It makes me miss being able to date Michelle...D:

* * *

"Nice pants, Niko...I bet your whores like them..."

"Do you say the same shit to your whores, too?"

"I'm just another one of your whores, aren't I?"

"I guess you can come over, once you finished up making love with all your whores..."

Niko Bellic just couldn't take it anymore. No matter how many times he explained it to her, Kiki just seemed to be unable to comprehend the fact that she was the only girl he was seeing. As he drove to her house for their date that night, he decided to try and finally get her to understand to stop asking him about these imaginary whores of his. If she didn't...he would most likely have to blow a bullet through her brain. That's how annoyed he was with all of this.

As soon as he pulled the car up beside the curb of her street, Kiki was already waiting outside for him. She gave him a tiny smile before climbing into the car seat beside him. The first thing Kiki did before Niko started up the car again was remark about his clothes.

"Wow," She said, with a hint of cynicism in her words, "That's a really nice suit...you probably just picked it up from the dry cleaner's after your whores creamed all over it, right...?"

Niko rolled his eyes, and shook his head. "No, Kiki, I did not..."

"Eww...so it's still dirty after your fivesome?!"

"No!! What I'm saying is that I don't have any whores, Kiki!!! You're the only girl I want to be with, okay?!!" Niko snapped back, raising his hand almost as if to hit her. Kiki shrunk back in her seat, and Niko immediately felt guilty for yelling at her like that. He lowered his hands to his sides, and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Kiki...I...I...I didn't mean to snap at you...I've just been having alot of money trouble and all, so I'm a bit tense..." Niko came up with that excuse off the top of his head. Luckily, it seemed to have worked on the ever-oblivious Kiki.

"Oh, it's okay, Niko! I could never stay mad at you!!" Kiki cooed, giving the Serbian man a little kiss on the cheek. With that done, Niko put the car into drive, and they began making their way down the street in the direction of the local diner. A few minutes passed before Kiki finally decided to speak again.

"This is a nice car, Niko...is it new?"

Niko had stolen it out of a parking lot a few blocks back. "...You could say that," he replied, shrugging.

"Do your whores like it? Are the backseats comfy enough for the two of you while you're fucking?"

Niko tightened his grip on the wheel. "No, Kiki...and I say 'no' because I do not have any whores, so I do not fuck them in the backseats of my car...do you understand?"

Ignoring him completely, Kiki glanced out the window and caught sight of a rather slutty-looking girl walking along the sidewalk. "Hey," she pointed out, "I think I just saw one of your whores over there...do you wanna pick her up?"

Niko slammed on the brakes, causing both him and Kiki to jerk forward violently before slumping back in their seats. He looked positively infuriated, and it was obvious, but Kiki didn't seem to take a hint.

"Goddammit, Niko! What the hell do you think you're doing, stopping all of the sudden like that?! Damn near broke my neck...do you treat all your whores like this, you fucking bastard?!" Kiki snarled as she rubbed the back of her neck in pain.

Niko reached into her coat, unsheathed a pistol, and pressed the barrel against Kiki's forehead. "Shut up."

Kiki opened her mouth to scream, but Niko smacked her across the face with the gun's handle. "I SAID SHUT UP!!!" he snapped. Tears began to pour down Kiki's cheeks as she sat there, shaking all over with immense fear. She had never seen this side of Niko before, not even in bed. It really frightened her. Why was he so mad at her, anyway?

Niko took in a deep breath, and began to speak calmly now. "Kiki...I'm sorry that I'm doing this, but I need you to understand...there are no 'other whores' or anything of the like. I've picked up one or two cheap sluts off the side of the road before, but that was at a time before I met you. At this point, the only woman I want to be with is you, Kiki. I've sworn off strip clubs and prostitutes for good so I can remain faithful to you. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear you always accusing me of seeing other women, when that is most certainly not true. All I want right now, all I need to convince me to put away this pistol and take you out to dinner, is for you to apologize and to never ask me about 'my whores' again...okay, Kiki?"

Kiki thought about it for a moment. "I bet you get it real cheap when you talk to your whores like this, huh?" she chuckled.

The window of the car's passenger seat soon became smothered in splattered brains, blood and fragments of bone.


End file.
